Voices In My Head #1

I have recently been informed by the voices in my head to start a news letter devoted to them, and them alone. They say I must tell their lesson so that you may be enlighted by their wisdom.
The channeler of voices,
Myke

In this issue: Handy definitions, 2 top ten lists

Handy definitions: Auto-erotic - someone who loves their car a little too much.

I. Top ten reasons to be a homicial maniac:

1. Sick of people.
2. Sick of life.
3. Bored.
4. Just like to kill.
5. Artistic statment.
6. All your friends are doing it.
7. Looking for a good way to meet people.
8. Friend, doctor, pet recommended it.
9. Independently wealthy and looking for a hobby
10. Supernatural powers

II. Top ten Psycho pick-up lines:

10. Didn't I see you on the grassy knoll?
9. Can I buy you a spatual?
8. Bet your wondering why I have no nostrils?
7. Your crawlspace or mine?
6. You look like the kind of person who appreciates catheters.
5. May I lick your forehead?
4. Do you always wear your shoes over your socks?
3. Smeep, smeep, smeep (a personal favorite)
2. What's your favorite flavor of wood?

And the #1 Psycho pick-up line...

You've stolen my heart, but I have three more back home in the freezer.

Thats all for now but beware future issues a lurking ahead!!!